Things has been a roller coaster for me for the past few days. Deadlines were looming up - and my newly acquired skill of Flash (i had learnt it in 3 hours flat) had expanded the boundaries of my job description. work has taken a toll on me. I lost quite a lot of weight, been getting spells of fever .. and have been having some rough moments with my love. I really do need to spend more time with him. I hate to see him upset. It hurts like a piece of bone stuck in your heart.
I'm trying to lessen the amount of work i squeeze into a working day. 9-5pm.. that's all i wanna do. Sky had got a better offer.. of RM2700 at Aquaria.. The company which my ex-operations manager had run off to from Axxezz. She was offered RM 12k per month. And I had called Sky to join me in my team, but her offer to him had made him change his mind afer 2 weeks working with me.
He loves his job ; you could feel his enthusiasm when he was choosing clothes for the magazine cover shoot, and the way he was so excited about the roadshows. But is it just the love of a job that makes someone retire from a particular company after 30 years down the road?
We sat down and had a long talk. Sky and I had shared this 'big sister' 'small brother' relationship since our last jobs at Axxezz. When he first started to work with me, he was timid, and was shy to open up to people about his ideas and views. Later on, he had managed to become a responsible young individual with brilliant ideas with a bright future - as i had felt that i too had become. I stick to a job which i love doing and I thought it was the main motto of my life. However, he brought up a single statement which had made me ponder for these couple of days.
Yes. People do value the amount of experience that would incur in a job - but do people value you? How much are you valued at?
How about the value of oneself?
That got me thinking. How much am I valued at?
Well, I daresay i'm definately not valued at the current salary that i am getting. Definately not lesser than Sky is valued at.
Should I continue to look for a better paying job? Or should i stick to the job that I love doing? having the satisfaction of financial gain instead of accomplishment from a job well done?
I am not a person who would stick to an easy well paying job. I love the thrill of deadlines and the ideas that come freely once you are under pressure. I love seeing my work materialise on posters, campaigns and being put to good use for all to see.
But.. Is it all just for the dollars and cents?
Is it materialism?
I know I am not a materialistic person - but i do love to be pampered - to be showered with pretty and nice things.. Like how my wubb wubb does. He showers me with love and affection - undying worship and loyalty. He loves me even when I snap at him, he loves me even when I am holding a cigarette stick between my fingers as I speak to him on the phone. He loves me even when i told him my bum lost an inch.
He loves me in the morning... till the evening. He loves me even when I call him at 3am his time and till i kiss him good night at 6 am. He loves me even when i am working till 2am in the morning and receives my call at 4am..
He loves me so much that he would plan where we would stay if I were to fly to Sydney just to be with him - not even a single confirmation of a travel itinerary - and he loves me even though when I told him that my financial situation can't accomodate that little getaway.
He loves me so much.. that he would sneak to the ladies department to get lingerie for me - cause i told him that i liked sexy stuff.
.. .. *sighs*.... i miss him so much.. .. And he just mentioned that it seems such a long time ago since we first kissed.
I love you, my love.. My darling.... my one and only most precious in the world. My other half where my world is just simply perfect.. no flaws.. no sorrow... no worries.. William.. may i be yours forever?
:: p@ssionberry scented p@ssions ~ In life, the most wonderful feeling is being delirious and the best kind of delirium is being in love with... life ~ ::
2 comments:
Dear Lynn,
What Sky has implemented is true. The reason i left is because I can see myself not being valued and appreciated like I should be. So why wanna bother putting 101% of your effort into something that wouldn't turn out as pleasing as you want it to be? Yes, what you think is also true. YOu love your jobscope and you love the rush of adrenaline once it comes to dealines and all, but hey, ask yourself this, does your boss appreciates you the way you expects him to be?No, I don't think so, judged from what i've seen. He never appreciates his people. Just look how the way he treats Pat as a Director of the company. And I still don't understand why you are always on his side?What is it that he gave you till you're being blinded by the reality thoughts that you're not being equally treated well in the company? My RM1600 from him was nothing. Yes i admit im not that versatile in every part of the design scope but then again, why wanna bother when i'm only getting paid at that amount? Do you know that with the skills i possess right now could earn me RM2,600 per month? So just try imagining your valued pay.
Lynn, am not trying to be the hypocrite here messing with your working world. I still love you as a friend. Although,sigh, sometimes i know you turn your back against some of us, its your duty i know, i still like you as a friend. I understand what you're going through that is why i never blamed it on your side. That's another reason i left the company too. I rather leave than to see my friend becoming my enemy in office. I want friends to stay forever as friends. That is how much you are valued to me, or to us, your very friends.
Lynn, I do really hope you are clearly aware of what you are in the office. Please be valued. Go somewhere else where the boss does not only say that you're good but also shows you the return you're being appreciated by his act and salary he gives you.
Friends are forever, employers are not. Friends will be by yourside everytime you need someone to help, console. Employers does not supply you with forever salary and friendship.
Understand what i'm trying to say, understand what Sky is trying to tell you. People don't live long. Enjoy your life till its fullest.
I'm always here to be your friend whenever you need one. I'm here to advise and be advised. I hope what i've told you have not burst your bubble. Think with a clear mind and you will know....
With Love,
Evelyn
Hahahahaha.....William...u can't dance like sky...now you gotta learn from him....I mean..apart being cautious of him..you know..grabbing your ass or somewhat like that... Hehehe......
Yes am looking forward into another session of BUM BUM Shakin'...but i heard there's no more free flow isn't it so Lynn? Darn...they must have remembered us...
Lynn, for me friends are important as ever. I forgive and forget...and so does everyone who appreciates friendship. Actually...i was kinda mad at the first place, but then again, why wanna be like that for a friendship that can last for a lifetime. I did not blame you...I blame the boss for turning you into someone i didn't know anymore. He must have implemented something into your overtime pizza or McD's. *GAH*
AND....the old man is not your type either...he is way tooooooo old...and i don't even think his dick could even swell.... hahahaha...No worries im doing fine...Worst come to worst, i might just go get myself married to somebody rich...hehehehe...
Hugs Lynn...Will be always here in the blog for you.. (PHBBTT!!)
Evelyn
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