Ahh. Finally. At home again, after a tiring weekend.
After that fucked up meeting at work on Wednesday, I gave myself half a day off, as well as Thursday.. and Friday too (.... why not!..Duh.... they wouldn't realise that I am gone.. ... all I do is take pictures of china made crap the entire day... . ) . So I had a wonderful weekend just calming myself down, and telling myself that obtaining an atom bomb to nuke the office was kinda expensive. So I just decided to spend some time at home, recuperating, chatting to my William.
On Friday, my aunts from Singapore decided to come down and make my weekend busy. They are my most favourite aunts from my daddy's side of the family. They come down occasionally to hang out, shopping, do their manicure and pedicure.. and just to peek and see if their niece is still alive in her pile of mess. They are quite concerned about my job, and the younger aunt (li-jiun) has found a job opening for me as an IT assistant at her company in Singapore. Hermes. (http://www.hermes.com). She's the Administration Manager and she had worked there for 20 years now.
Now, for those who does not know Hermes, it is a luxury brand from Paris. Something like Louis Vuitton and DKNY. All I know that Hermes sells handbags and scarfs and horse riding .. stuff. One bangle from Hermes would cost approximately enough to buy an entire set of ... ... 24k gold.. dentures. (... .. .. maybe some old toothless billionaire had nothing else to do but to chomp with his wealth... ). And I have a watch from Hermes, a beach towel, a bangle, a key pendant and a plate... some.. where.. All courtesy from my dearest aunt. Her room, is filled with orange boxes and brown ribbons. It's a maze in there. She and I compete for the most messiest room award. The first person who needs to get into her room through the window is the winner! (Ohh.. remember I posted up a picture of my office space? Trust me, that mess is peanuts compared to the jungle in my room - looks as if a tsunami bore through it - the contractor of my house, would not even recognise the same room that he had designed and built)
Yes.... Enough of my lynn-made labyrinth of Subang Jaya. Subang Jaya, has been my place of residence for the past.... ... 15 years of my life. i was here since Primary One, Primary Two, then I went down to Malacca for Primary 3 (Methodist Girls School down Jalan Tengquerah - my mum's old school when she was young for her entire primary and secondary education, cool eh??? ), came back to Subang Jaya for Primary 4, 5 and 6. I was at the Sri Aman Secondary Girls school for my 5 years of high school in Petaling Jaya. I was in Sunway College for 2 years before I went to Queensland, Australia to further my studies in IT. I graduated in year 2003.
.. ... ... .. Ok. Enough of my boring history. Why did i tell you guys that load of grandmother story... ... ... ... Oh.... Yes. I wanted to tell you about Sunway Pyramid. Sunway Pyramid was 'THE' place-to-hangout-to-show-off-lame-gfs and also the place for 'kutu lepak' (kutu lepak - loitering.. lice?.. ) when I was still young, and innocent, and goody goody, and 'fresh'.. and 'green'... .. .. Yaar. I WAS a good girl. Hang on... .. I AM still a good girl..
(... pfftttttttt... yar rite.. stop lying to yourself... you can lie in this blog but not to yourself. )
... ....* I swear I'll kick you in the nuts... THREE TIMES for extra measure.*
.. ... ... .. .... I am a Good girl.. .
... *ahem*
Yessss... so. When I was... .. young, Pyramid was the place. And it's still the place that i like to hang out, just to browse... to play bowling.. (yarr.. and to break my finger nail).. to ice skate.. (and to be helped by this oh so cute guy with a ponytail and a baby face and a nice, firm.. .. ... ... bummm.. no... er.. i mean grip).
.. .. and to have a midnight stroll with your-boyfriend-to-be.
... It was the night of 17th January. 2 days after mummy's birthday. Carol and Freon were sleeping like bloated hogs on the two single beds in the Sunway Hotel room. They had worked hard for the Malaysia-India Conference that I was working part time to ease their burden of the ticketing department. There was another day of conference on the 18th and Freon suggested that I stayed over in the hotel instead of going home. And I wouldn't have agreed to it if it weren't for..
William.
It was akward for him. Being in a hotel room with 3 other girls. Alone (.. and being an innocent guy like him.. .. ... .. *blinks... thinks*... .. double PPFFTT!!! to that!!). He was staying back too. And it was during dinner that I was still contemplating on whether or not to stay for the night. I was mentally tired when we were having dinner together at a vegetarian dinner at Pyramid - tired of trying to reason out things with my boss, my job, my position in the company. Tired of always having to put up my 'force field' around my vulnerable self when dealing with the rough, real world. Tired of having to put up a brave, professional front when your inner self is screaming for release, for being someone that everyone expects you to be. And I had been around with a lot of people for that day. I couldn't eat. And I was irritated because my eyes still kept drifting to him. And I didn't feel very comfortable with Freon around. I wasn't exactly her best fan. I didn't like her style of work. And I definately felt that I could have done a much better job at organising and managing her department although I was 6 years her junior.
My mind wasn't following the conversation at the table. I don't remember what was the topic. But Bernard (Freon's colleague) was also adding to my edginess. He was treating me like a small little girl the entire day. Making me eat food that I didn't like. And who is he to treat me like a baby anyway?... I don't let anyone or everyone do that... It's just not.. right. And then, Sky called me and said that he was at Pyramid. Good. A good excuse to leave the dinner (i was just eating whatever was nearest to my chopstick anyway) and to go talk to Sky about the shitty situation at my workplace.
Actually. I didn't want to talk to Sky. I didn't want to talk to Carol, Freon or anyone. I just wanted to have my space. Time alone.. Time out. I took a long walk to Kim Gary where Sky was, spent a few minutes cursing the company, then I walked to the hotel where my car was parked. The night was very lively for a weekday. Maybe the delegates from the conference had found some fresh playmates - ahh the wonders of an Asian country... so many chicks.. so little time..
I was somewhat calm as I walked the dark path, and I focused my mind back on whether or not to stay on for the night. I couldn't find a solid ground to base my decision on. I was tired - but there was a bed in the room, and in my room at home. There was air con in the hotel room at least - but.. so what if I had no air con in my house, i'd sleep if there was a tsunami beneath me (not before I have checked that I had a reinforced floor and ceiling and roof). All were stupid reasons. And as I was just taking out my car key, and pressing the button for the lift to the carpark- Oh.. William. He's staying back too, isn't he?
I headed for the hotel room after confirming that they would (.. actually.. more on 'he would') be at the room. Carol and Freon were already snoring their praises to Father Time. And he, well, he was just ... there. He looked tired and exhausted. Freon was sprawled across the bed - well, no chance of him sharing the bed with her (he might be scared of getting raped... or something.. didn't want to scare the guts out of the poor fella). Carol was... just .. well, I was supposed to share the bed with her - but my mind was too worked up to actually catch any Z's. And.. it was only... 9pm.. or something. I glanced at him - the poor boy looked so .. helpless... .. ... ...
.. ... and innocent... and attractive.. and he has this sincere smile which I had caught him flashing it once or twice.... which he did quite rarely... . and ... .. why am I thinking of this .. of William?... .. great.. another item to move forward on my to-do list - this guy is taking up very much of my thinking space - not only I had been eyeing him the entire day when he was working alongside with me, being so ... professional and nimble with his words, his attentiveness, his arrogance made me feel so.. weak... *blinks*.. DEFINATELY need a lot of thought on this mysterious person. .. no guy makes Lynn vulnerable. Never. N.e.v.e.r.
Okay girl - solve one problem at a time. ..
Operation William-the-interesting-baby-face-guy starts in 5....4.... 3.... 2...
L : William, wanna go for a ride? or would you rather ... *glances at Freon, hoping that she is still hogging the entire bed... ... good.. she's still being a big obstacle* .. .. err.. try to get some sleep?
W : Hmmm?.. Sure.. ... I'm up for it.
*.. ooohhh...he answered a little too.. quickly.... hhhmm.... interesting*
L : You sure? You seem tired. You can urm... squeeze up with Freon a little bit.. *.. ppfftt... see if you can, mummy's boy*... I just want to get my clothes from home. I live pretty close. It's just a short ride.
*yeah.. at least there'd be someone to divert my attention away from the other crappy work related shit in my mind*
W : Yea.. I'm pretty sure. It's too early to sleep anyway!
L : ... ... ... Ah.. Okay *yay!*
Tried to keep my eyes on the road. A quick glance showed that he was deep in thought - or maybe he was just tired - or he was trying to make sure that he would come out from my car, alive with no bones broken - or... I might just be thinking too much. I thought I could hear the faint grinding - click - click - click sounds of gears shifting in his mind. (that I had intention of peeking into.. just a little peek... you never know what surprises that you might find in a good, innocent, quiet boy's mind... .. ) He was quiet, and the other problems at work started to cloud my mind again. I didn't realise that I had reached the gates of my house. My doggies were rather energetic. I had to skip around their tails and paws to get to the front door without making a fool out of myself. I wonder if he liked dogs..I knew he has dogs... .. Hmmmm mmm ..
And the mystery guy of my thoughts was happy to stay in the car. That was the first time I had drove a guy, in my car, to my house. That was the first time William had a glance at my home. It is not grand at all - my home. Just a place where I go home to sleep after my work. Home was not an appropriate term, I guess. Home was what I lost when my parents had their seperation in 2000. And a Home of my own to settle down and live happilly ever after was on my to-do list in the near future. Oh, we have reached the hotel room? That was darn quick. Yarrr.. blame the innocent, quiet, delicious... .. guy.
L : So, no extra pillows ar?
*i didnt feel like yanking out the pillow from Carol's thighs... .. maybe he would do it for me... .. .. ... Narrrrrr..... *
W : No loor. We can get some from housekeeping.
L : ... .. Ummm... Sure. I might go for a walk later.
*just please don't fall asleep... . the night is still young.. and I am still so very messed up in my mind.. *
W : Sure. Coming?
(some time later, after we have acquired pillows... and stealing more glances at him... .. hmm... why oh why...... ?)
*okay... this is really messing up my thoughts... i need to sort either one of them out... cute guy-that-my-eyes-have-magneted-to seemed to be very exhausted.. all of us had an early morning.. I shall.. put Operation Mind-boggling-guy on hold till tomorrow... *
L : Um... I'm... going out for a walk.. I just.. want to clear my mind.
W : Okay. Sure. Where to?
*huh.... that was a quick answer.....Why.. does he want to know. He wants to follow me?... Isn't he tired... poor guy.. he has to be.. Who would want to follow me ? In the middle of the night? .. .. hmm... hang on. .. his eyes... ... he's trying to read me.... or.. something... I have been trying to avert my gaze away from him.. he might.. just suspect.. that I am onto him.. Or.. am I??*
L : Um.. I'm just... out.. walking.. ...
*shrugs - alone.. supposedly.. but.. .. i do.. want you to come... ... wha..?.. Lynn?... you ok ar?*
... .. Do you.. have anywhere to go?.. Someplace in mind?
W : *shrugs*.. Anywhere would be fine with me.
L : Oh... Oh.. kay..
I brought him to meet Patricia at Starbucks. Just to say hi... *and show her whom I had tagging along.... he's quite a prized accessory... * Sure enough, she was waiting for her 'hubby' to get off work. Hmm... she .. looks.. so much.. bigger. Is she pregnant again?.. *sighs*.. I had always looked down on girls who gets themselves into trouble - and then abort their unborn children as if nothing had happen. Barbarians..
P : Yo Lynn. New boyfriend?????
*raised eyebrows... I cast a worried glance at him... uh-oh.. I forgot about my reputation with guys.. hope he doesn't freak out.. being known as my bf might not be the best of identities - i'm not that lucky.. ... . he seems pretty comfy lounging in that arm chair... gawd why does he still look so sophisticated and heart stopping even though he's deprived of sleep?... maybe it's the shirt.. or that hidden smile... or .... the way he crosses his legs.. or.. or... .. *
L : William???... *gulps*... Narrr.. he's just a friend... Lynn.. having a boyfriend???? Narrrrr.... Ummm... let's go...
*before she starts teasing us.. and then I'll feel bad for humiliating him... and I'll never forgive myself*
Well, Red Chamber was a rather romantic place to hang out. With it's red clothed ceiling etched with subtle hints of Arabic inspiration. The dimmed, mellow lights made the ambience glow with a deep, scarlet red - with gold fringed throw pillows littered around cosy sofas. He ordered his usual bottle of mineral water... He can't drink - (found that out on Carol's birthday - nearly ruined my shoes...) . And I had my usual cocktail. Apple .. vodka.. or something.
The previous time we were here, was with Yee Peng(a common friend), I think - after a session of karaoke. And somehow, we got around to the topic on whether he was still single or not and whether he has had any previous relationship. He had answered no to both questions. And I had kept that information into one of the many unsorted drawers in my massive mess of a mind - never did I know I would dig out that information again. And we had even talked about his preferences of a girlfriend. And at this point, I did not realise that I was all ears until I actually blushed.. at one point of the conversation. I half expected him to drawl on with the normal kinda characteristics of an Ah Lian - brainless, more boobs than sense, fuckable face, whiny, bitch.. However, to my silent delight, it went something like this...
W : ... ... ... .. I prefer a lady who is smart, independant and she must have a matured thinking..
YP : Hmm.. Lynn is like that what.
W : *nods gravely* Ummm.. Yes.. I know Lynn is.
... ... .. I had no idea why my heart actually missed a beat.
And my heart did its sommersault again when I had braved myself to rest my gaze longer on him a week or so later while clutching a pillow close to my beating heart. The warm silhoutte of the glow from the surrounding lamps cast him a soft, rich, golden tone on his pale skin. Already lining the faint hints of dark circles beneath his deep gaze. I longed to reach out my fingers to push back a stray part of his fringe that keeps getting into his eyes - but there were just some risks that I do not take. I liked being in his company and I liked his silent thoughts - they broke the silence of words. I felt his mind - i just didn't quite make out what was his thoughts dwelling on. I knew 'sleep' was on his mind, but i was raptured by his voice, his calmness, trying to talk me into being patient with my fucked up boss. But.. it really didn't matter that much - all that mattered was he was close by.
As I curled up next to Carol, and the poor dear boy was on the floor, near the lamp - I was still reflecting on the day.. on the evening. I replayed little things in my mind.. the way he shook hands, the way he pushed that stubborn strand of hair, the way he neatly folded his hands on his knee, how soothing his voice was.. .. ... .. and I closed my eyes... the last vision of him .. sleeping close by... faded to black. And somewhere deep in my mind and heart, I couldn't wait for tomorrow. .. .. .. ..
~Present~
2:15am.. Easter Sunday. Sunrise service at 6:45am. Leaving at 6:30am. ..
I should sleep. And I'm missing him again. *sighs*
After that fucked up meeting at work on Wednesday, I gave myself half a day off, as well as Thursday.. and Friday too (.... why not!..Duh.... they wouldn't realise that I am gone.. ... all I do is take pictures of china made crap the entire day... . ) . So I had a wonderful weekend just calming myself down, and telling myself that obtaining an atom bomb to nuke the office was kinda expensive. So I just decided to spend some time at home, recuperating, chatting to my William.
On Friday, my aunts from Singapore decided to come down and make my weekend busy. They are my most favourite aunts from my daddy's side of the family. They come down occasionally to hang out, shopping, do their manicure and pedicure.. and just to peek and see if their niece is still alive in her pile of mess. They are quite concerned about my job, and the younger aunt (li-jiun) has found a job opening for me as an IT assistant at her company in Singapore. Hermes. (http://www.hermes.com). She's the Administration Manager and she had worked there for 20 years now.
Now, for those who does not know Hermes, it is a luxury brand from Paris. Something like Louis Vuitton and DKNY. All I know that Hermes sells handbags and scarfs and horse riding .. stuff. One bangle from Hermes would cost approximately enough to buy an entire set of ... ... 24k gold.. dentures. (... .. .. maybe some old toothless billionaire had nothing else to do but to chomp with his wealth... ). And I have a watch from Hermes, a beach towel, a bangle, a key pendant and a plate... some.. where.. All courtesy from my dearest aunt. Her room, is filled with orange boxes and brown ribbons. It's a maze in there. She and I compete for the most messiest room award. The first person who needs to get into her room through the window is the winner! (Ohh.. remember I posted up a picture of my office space? Trust me, that mess is peanuts compared to the jungle in my room - looks as if a tsunami bore through it - the contractor of my house, would not even recognise the same room that he had designed and built)
Yes.... Enough of my lynn-made labyrinth of Subang Jaya. Subang Jaya, has been my place of residence for the past.... ... 15 years of my life. i was here since Primary One, Primary Two, then I went down to Malacca for Primary 3 (Methodist Girls School down Jalan Tengquerah - my mum's old school when she was young for her entire primary and secondary education, cool eh??? ), came back to Subang Jaya for Primary 4, 5 and 6. I was at the Sri Aman Secondary Girls school for my 5 years of high school in Petaling Jaya. I was in Sunway College for 2 years before I went to Queensland, Australia to further my studies in IT. I graduated in year 2003.
.. ... ... .. Ok. Enough of my boring history. Why did i tell you guys that load of grandmother story... ... ... ... Oh.... Yes. I wanted to tell you about Sunway Pyramid. Sunway Pyramid was 'THE' place-to-hangout-to-show-off-lame-gfs and also the place for 'kutu lepak' (kutu lepak - loitering.. lice?.. ) when I was still young, and innocent, and goody goody, and 'fresh'.. and 'green'... .. .. Yaar. I WAS a good girl. Hang on... .. I AM still a good girl..
(... pfftttttttt... yar rite.. stop lying to yourself... you can lie in this blog but not to yourself. )
... ....* I swear I'll kick you in the nuts... THREE TIMES for extra measure.*
.. ... ... .. .... I am a Good girl.. .
... *ahem*
Yessss... so. When I was... .. young, Pyramid was the place. And it's still the place that i like to hang out, just to browse... to play bowling.. (yarr.. and to break my finger nail).. to ice skate.. (and to be helped by this oh so cute guy with a ponytail and a baby face and a nice, firm.. .. ... ... bummm.. no... er.. i mean grip).
.. .. and to have a midnight stroll with your-boyfriend-to-be.
... It was the night of 17th January. 2 days after mummy's birthday. Carol and Freon were sleeping like bloated hogs on the two single beds in the Sunway Hotel room. They had worked hard for the Malaysia-India Conference that I was working part time to ease their burden of the ticketing department. There was another day of conference on the 18th and Freon suggested that I stayed over in the hotel instead of going home. And I wouldn't have agreed to it if it weren't for..
William.
It was akward for him. Being in a hotel room with 3 other girls. Alone (.. and being an innocent guy like him.. .. ... .. *blinks... thinks*... .. double PPFFTT!!! to that!!). He was staying back too. And it was during dinner that I was still contemplating on whether or not to stay for the night. I was mentally tired when we were having dinner together at a vegetarian dinner at Pyramid - tired of trying to reason out things with my boss, my job, my position in the company. Tired of always having to put up my 'force field' around my vulnerable self when dealing with the rough, real world. Tired of having to put up a brave, professional front when your inner self is screaming for release, for being someone that everyone expects you to be. And I had been around with a lot of people for that day. I couldn't eat. And I was irritated because my eyes still kept drifting to him. And I didn't feel very comfortable with Freon around. I wasn't exactly her best fan. I didn't like her style of work. And I definately felt that I could have done a much better job at organising and managing her department although I was 6 years her junior.
My mind wasn't following the conversation at the table. I don't remember what was the topic. But Bernard (Freon's colleague) was also adding to my edginess. He was treating me like a small little girl the entire day. Making me eat food that I didn't like. And who is he to treat me like a baby anyway?... I don't let anyone or everyone do that... It's just not.. right. And then, Sky called me and said that he was at Pyramid. Good. A good excuse to leave the dinner (i was just eating whatever was nearest to my chopstick anyway) and to go talk to Sky about the shitty situation at my workplace.
Actually. I didn't want to talk to Sky. I didn't want to talk to Carol, Freon or anyone. I just wanted to have my space. Time alone.. Time out. I took a long walk to Kim Gary where Sky was, spent a few minutes cursing the company, then I walked to the hotel where my car was parked. The night was very lively for a weekday. Maybe the delegates from the conference had found some fresh playmates - ahh the wonders of an Asian country... so many chicks.. so little time..
I was somewhat calm as I walked the dark path, and I focused my mind back on whether or not to stay on for the night. I couldn't find a solid ground to base my decision on. I was tired - but there was a bed in the room, and in my room at home. There was air con in the hotel room at least - but.. so what if I had no air con in my house, i'd sleep if there was a tsunami beneath me (not before I have checked that I had a reinforced floor and ceiling and roof). All were stupid reasons. And as I was just taking out my car key, and pressing the button for the lift to the carpark- Oh.. William. He's staying back too, isn't he?
I headed for the hotel room after confirming that they would (.. actually.. more on 'he would') be at the room. Carol and Freon were already snoring their praises to Father Time. And he, well, he was just ... there. He looked tired and exhausted. Freon was sprawled across the bed - well, no chance of him sharing the bed with her (he might be scared of getting raped... or something.. didn't want to scare the guts out of the poor fella). Carol was... just .. well, I was supposed to share the bed with her - but my mind was too worked up to actually catch any Z's. And.. it was only... 9pm.. or something. I glanced at him - the poor boy looked so .. helpless... .. ... ...
.. ... and innocent... and attractive.. and he has this sincere smile which I had caught him flashing it once or twice.... which he did quite rarely... . and ... .. why am I thinking of this .. of William?... .. great.. another item to move forward on my to-do list - this guy is taking up very much of my thinking space - not only I had been eyeing him the entire day when he was working alongside with me, being so ... professional and nimble with his words, his attentiveness, his arrogance made me feel so.. weak... *blinks*.. DEFINATELY need a lot of thought on this mysterious person. .. no guy makes Lynn vulnerable. Never. N.e.v.e.r.
Okay girl - solve one problem at a time. ..
Operation William-the-interesting-baby-face-guy starts in 5....4.... 3.... 2...
L : William, wanna go for a ride? or would you rather ... *glances at Freon, hoping that she is still hogging the entire bed... ... good.. she's still being a big obstacle* .. .. err.. try to get some sleep?
W : Hmmm?.. Sure.. ... I'm up for it.
*.. ooohhh...he answered a little too.. quickly.... hhhmm.... interesting*
L : You sure? You seem tired. You can urm... squeeze up with Freon a little bit.. *.. ppfftt... see if you can, mummy's boy*... I just want to get my clothes from home. I live pretty close. It's just a short ride.
*yeah.. at least there'd be someone to divert my attention away from the other crappy work related shit in my mind*
W : Yea.. I'm pretty sure. It's too early to sleep anyway!
L : ... ... ... Ah.. Okay *yay!*
Tried to keep my eyes on the road. A quick glance showed that he was deep in thought - or maybe he was just tired - or he was trying to make sure that he would come out from my car, alive with no bones broken - or... I might just be thinking too much. I thought I could hear the faint grinding - click - click - click sounds of gears shifting in his mind. (that I had intention of peeking into.. just a little peek... you never know what surprises that you might find in a good, innocent, quiet boy's mind... .. ) He was quiet, and the other problems at work started to cloud my mind again. I didn't realise that I had reached the gates of my house. My doggies were rather energetic. I had to skip around their tails and paws to get to the front door without making a fool out of myself. I wonder if he liked dogs..I knew he has dogs... .. Hmmmm mmm ..
And the mystery guy of my thoughts was happy to stay in the car. That was the first time I had drove a guy, in my car, to my house. That was the first time William had a glance at my home. It is not grand at all - my home. Just a place where I go home to sleep after my work. Home was not an appropriate term, I guess. Home was what I lost when my parents had their seperation in 2000. And a Home of my own to settle down and live happilly ever after was on my to-do list in the near future. Oh, we have reached the hotel room? That was darn quick. Yarrr.. blame the innocent, quiet, delicious... .. guy.
L : So, no extra pillows ar?
*i didnt feel like yanking out the pillow from Carol's thighs... .. maybe he would do it for me... .. .. ... Narrrrrr..... *
W : No loor. We can get some from housekeeping.
L : ... .. Ummm... Sure. I might go for a walk later.
*just please don't fall asleep... . the night is still young.. and I am still so very messed up in my mind.. *
W : Sure. Coming?
(some time later, after we have acquired pillows... and stealing more glances at him... .. hmm... why oh why...... ?)
*okay... this is really messing up my thoughts... i need to sort either one of them out... cute guy-that-my-eyes-have-magneted-to seemed to be very exhausted.. all of us had an early morning.. I shall.. put Operation Mind-boggling-guy on hold till tomorrow... *
L : Um... I'm... going out for a walk.. I just.. want to clear my mind.
W : Okay. Sure. Where to?
*huh.... that was a quick answer.....Why.. does he want to know. He wants to follow me?... Isn't he tired... poor guy.. he has to be.. Who would want to follow me ? In the middle of the night? .. .. hmm... hang on. .. his eyes... ... he's trying to read me.... or.. something... I have been trying to avert my gaze away from him.. he might.. just suspect.. that I am onto him.. Or.. am I??*
L : Um.. I'm just... out.. walking.. ...
*shrugs - alone.. supposedly.. but.. .. i do.. want you to come... ... wha..?.. Lynn?... you ok ar?*
... .. Do you.. have anywhere to go?.. Someplace in mind?
W : *shrugs*.. Anywhere would be fine with me.
L : Oh... Oh.. kay..
I brought him to meet Patricia at Starbucks. Just to say hi... *and show her whom I had tagging along.... he's quite a prized accessory... * Sure enough, she was waiting for her 'hubby' to get off work. Hmm... she .. looks.. so much.. bigger. Is she pregnant again?.. *sighs*.. I had always looked down on girls who gets themselves into trouble - and then abort their unborn children as if nothing had happen. Barbarians..
P : Yo Lynn. New boyfriend?????
*raised eyebrows... I cast a worried glance at him... uh-oh.. I forgot about my reputation with guys.. hope he doesn't freak out.. being known as my bf might not be the best of identities - i'm not that lucky.. ... . he seems pretty comfy lounging in that arm chair... gawd why does he still look so sophisticated and heart stopping even though he's deprived of sleep?... maybe it's the shirt.. or that hidden smile... or .... the way he crosses his legs.. or.. or... .. *
L : William???... *gulps*... Narrr.. he's just a friend... Lynn.. having a boyfriend???? Narrrrr.... Ummm... let's go...
*before she starts teasing us.. and then I'll feel bad for humiliating him... and I'll never forgive myself*
Well, Red Chamber was a rather romantic place to hang out. With it's red clothed ceiling etched with subtle hints of Arabic inspiration. The dimmed, mellow lights made the ambience glow with a deep, scarlet red - with gold fringed throw pillows littered around cosy sofas. He ordered his usual bottle of mineral water... He can't drink - (found that out on Carol's birthday - nearly ruined my shoes...) . And I had my usual cocktail. Apple .. vodka.. or something.
The previous time we were here, was with Yee Peng(a common friend), I think - after a session of karaoke. And somehow, we got around to the topic on whether he was still single or not and whether he has had any previous relationship. He had answered no to both questions. And I had kept that information into one of the many unsorted drawers in my massive mess of a mind - never did I know I would dig out that information again. And we had even talked about his preferences of a girlfriend. And at this point, I did not realise that I was all ears until I actually blushed.. at one point of the conversation. I half expected him to drawl on with the normal kinda characteristics of an Ah Lian - brainless, more boobs than sense, fuckable face, whiny, bitch.. However, to my silent delight, it went something like this...
W : ... ... ... .. I prefer a lady who is smart, independant and she must have a matured thinking..
YP : Hmm.. Lynn is like that what.
W : *nods gravely* Ummm.. Yes.. I know Lynn is.
... ... .. I had no idea why my heart actually missed a beat.
And my heart did its sommersault again when I had braved myself to rest my gaze longer on him a week or so later while clutching a pillow close to my beating heart. The warm silhoutte of the glow from the surrounding lamps cast him a soft, rich, golden tone on his pale skin. Already lining the faint hints of dark circles beneath his deep gaze. I longed to reach out my fingers to push back a stray part of his fringe that keeps getting into his eyes - but there were just some risks that I do not take. I liked being in his company and I liked his silent thoughts - they broke the silence of words. I felt his mind - i just didn't quite make out what was his thoughts dwelling on. I knew 'sleep' was on his mind, but i was raptured by his voice, his calmness, trying to talk me into being patient with my fucked up boss. But.. it really didn't matter that much - all that mattered was he was close by.
As I curled up next to Carol, and the poor dear boy was on the floor, near the lamp - I was still reflecting on the day.. on the evening. I replayed little things in my mind.. the way he shook hands, the way he pushed that stubborn strand of hair, the way he neatly folded his hands on his knee, how soothing his voice was.. .. ... .. and I closed my eyes... the last vision of him .. sleeping close by... faded to black. And somewhere deep in my mind and heart, I couldn't wait for tomorrow. .. .. .. ..
~Present~
2:15am.. Easter Sunday. Sunrise service at 6:45am. Leaving at 6:30am. ..
I should sleep. And I'm missing him again. *sighs*
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